HOW I ESCAPED

First my husband and I were told I could be discharged on July 21. 

Then I was told it was not to be the case. Whether I was lied to in 

the first instance is not for sure, but something was strange. My 

liaison Nina with Mental Health Partners told me I did not have to 

make an appointment with a therapist as I felt I had been very well 

served in that area for nearly 25 years. But then the social worker 

said I would not be discharged unless I promised to go these 

appointments. She and Nina finally worked it out and I was 

discharged the next day. How did I achieve discharge?

The fact is, I knew I was still manic and indeed the next day after 

discharge I went to Dr. Rosenthal and I volunteered to take the 

following medications: 300 mg Seroquel, 35 mg Lithium orotate, 

150 mg Lithium carbonate, 240 mg Verapamil plus as needed .5mg 

Clonazapem. Yes, I have been willingly taking these heavy hitters, 

more drugs than in the unit because I believe that for the time 

being, they are just what I need.

I knew that in order to be discharged so I could get on the right  

meds before it was too late, I had to pull a reverse Nelly Bly (about 

her, see this post). With support from my husband and a co-patient I imagined it was  already the most sorrowful day of the Jewish year, 

Tisha b’Av. I dressed in  black. I put my unruly hair up in a neat 

bun. I applied conditioner to my hair and eyebrows. I stood 

differently. I walked more slowly. 


I spoke less. I was extra appreciative of staff. I got discharged  

despite being manic. Years of teaching safely while moody had 

turned me into a better actress than I thought I was. Yet the extra 

day of discharge was worthwhile. Because of this extra day I 

witnessed the instance of the violent patient that I can now share 

with the world at large. For this I am grateful. If I can help a single 

patient being tortured by this unit, my stay will not have been in 

vain.